When asked what they really want, most people say, "I just want to be happy." Our pursuit of happiness often takes center stage in our lives. But how often do we consider joy? When was the last time you deliberately chose to be joyful?
I want to share right off the bat that joy doesn't always come easily to me. In fact, I know it's hard to believe, but some have called me a "glass half empty" kind of gal.
However, I have worked on this over the years and prefer to think of it as leaning toward the bittersweetness of life, as one of my favorite teachers, Susan Cain, writes about. 😊
While many use "happiness" and "joy" interchangeably, there is a clear distinction. In a book published a couple of years ago, Love People, Use Things, authors Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus offer an insightful framework to differentiate between pleasure, happiness, contentment, and joy.
Beyond Pleasure
Pleasure is immediate gratification - it feels good in the moment. Happiness, while also temporary, occurs when our actions align with our identity, values, and aspirations.
Think of pleasure as savoring a delicious slice of decadent cake, while happiness is enjoying a nutritious, tasty meal. Both are fleeting; you'll eventually get hungry again.
Contentment and joy, however, are more long-lasting. Contentment is like maintaining a balanced diet over time, leading to a deep sense of satisfaction.
It's about being at peace with your current situation, possessions, and status. The mantra of contentment might be: "I have enough. I am enough. I accept myself as I am, imperfections and all."
Why Seek Joy?
If contentment seems like a worthy goal, why bother with joy? Two key factors come into play: circumstances and community.
Joy transcends external conditions. While pleasure, happiness, and contentment are influenced by our surroundings, joy persists regardless of circumstances.
It's a calm internal delight that remains steady even in challenging times.
Millburn and Nicodemus describe joy as "the highest form of wellbeing," independent of circumstance-driven emotions.
Because joy doesn't strive for immediate satisfaction, it is possible to experience the full range of emotions—including pain and grief and regret—and still experience joy.
The authors also introduce a communal aspect to joy, suggesting it expands when shared with others. Using their meal analogy, joy is found in sharing a delicious, nutritious meal with someone else.
Let's be honest—most of the time, we're bombarded with messages prioritizing the pursuit of pleasure and happiness. Even around Thanksgiving, our brief focus on gratitude often leads to the frenzy of Black Friday and the rush of holiday shopping.
But occasionally, we're reminded—through a song, a sermon, or a poem—that something's missing.
I've come to understand that the joy inside—quiet, luminous, and ever-present—can be accessed at any time, independent of our challenges or the season.
Rediscover it within yourself, make it a daily choice, and share it with those around you. After all, true joy isn't just about personal fulfillment; it's about creating a ripple effect of positivity in our communities.
May we choose joy in all seasons, nurturing its quiet radiance within and sharing its light with others.
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ADVICE AND INSPIRATION FOR FEELING wildly ALIVE
The Joy You Make
Author and award-winning columnist Steven Petrow wrote his latest book, The Joy You Make, after one of the most challenging periods of his life. The book draws on his research into the nature of joy and offers insights into discovering silver linings during dark periods.
Katie Couric Media asked him who taught him the most during his research, what he hopes we can all learn from his book, and more.
How Can You Find Joy During Hard Times? | Katie Couric Media
Music: Tune In, Feel Good
Philosophers, theologians, and scientists agree: A great melody is good for you.
Discover how to harness the power of music to elevate your emotional experiences and cultivate deeper self-awareness and meaning in your life.
How Music Really Does Make You Happier | The Atlantic (Gift Article)
Insomnia: It's Not a Sleep Problem
According to most research, insomnia affects 10-30 percent of the population worldwide.
In Nick Wignall's experience as a psychologist and sleep expert, it's disproportionately high among high achievers and people with perfectionistic tendencies.
Wignall presents a simple but counterintuitive idea: insomnia is not a sleep problem; it's an effort problem. Read his helpful guide and learn what to do about it.
How to Sleep When You're a Perfectionist and High Achiever | Psyche
The Case for Unretirement
The trend of unretirement has become increasingly common in recent years. This upending of the traditional retirement model is driven by a complex interplay of financial, social and personal factors.
Money issues aside, many people are dissatisfied with the prospect of being unproductive and without purpose for the rest of their lives.
The Great Unretirement | Next Avenue
A Purposeful Path: How One Woman Is Helping Kids Navigate Grief
Pat Mazza Vlamis, a How She Thrives reader, has transformed her desire to help grieving children into meaningful action.
She recently published My Memory Journal on Amazon - a coloring book designed to support kids coping with loss and grief. This project beautifully combines Pat's artistic talents with her commitment to making a difference.
I've had a chance to review the book, and I'm genuinely impressed by its thoughtful approach. Maybe you know of a child who might benefit from this resource. Or, if you appreciate the concept, please consider sharing the Amazon link with your network.
Let's help Pat spread the word so this valuable tool can reach more children who need it.
My Memory Journal | Amazon
Little Bits of Light
Words to open your heart and SOOTHE YOUR SOUL
Photos by: Linda Wattier
Thank You for Sharing
How She Thrives!
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