It’s been four months since I last wrote to you.
Four months of two international trips to be with family. Of houseguests and home repairs, doctor’s appointments, and a road trip to see my best friend. Of saying goodbye to the boat my husband and I had loved for twenty-six years—polishing her one last time, handing her keys to someone new. One thing, then the next thing, then the thing after that.
Somewhere in the middle of it all, I realized that I wasn’t just too busy to write; I was too depleted. A gray fog had settled into my inner landscape, followed by a slow leaking away of motivation. I gave everything I had to the people and the tasks in front of me, and there was nothing left over for the page.
And then the guilt arrived: I’ve gone silent on the women who show up for me and my writing. I started to wonder if you’d moved on. If you even remembered who I was and why you’d subscribed to my newsletter in the first place.
I considered walking away from How She Thrives. Three years of building this space. Gone, just like that, because life had gotten complicated and would likely stay that way. What was the point of a newsletter I couldn’t show up for?
But here’s what I learned, sitting with that thought: the idea of quitting didn’t bring relief. It brought grief. Something inside—call it instinct, the part of me that’s unmistakably me—rose up and said, Don’t you ever give up on this thing you love, the thing that makes you come alive.
That’s the piece I want to share with you, because I suspect you might be standing at your own version of this edge.
Fierce tenacity, I’ve decided, isn’t about never faltering.
It isn’t a straight, unbroken line of effort. I used to think it was—that the strong ones push through, unbothered, always producing. I don’t believe that anymore. I think fierce tenacity is what’s left after the fog, the guilt, the season when you have nothing left to give. It’s refusing to let a hard stretch become a permanent verdict about who you are and what you love.
Some things are worth returning to, even imperfectly, even late, even after long periods of silence. This publication is one of them. That’s why I’m here, writing to you today.
So if there’s something you’ve stopped pursuing, and you’re thinking maybe it’s just too late, or too hard, or not worth it anymore, notice whether that thought brings relief or grief.
If it’s grief, there’s your answer.
Never, ever, ever give up on the things that make you come alive.
I’m so glad I didn’t.
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How She Thrives!
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